Find peace with food and overcome disordered eating.
Food Freedom Coach
Overcome disordered eating and find peace with food
3 ways to succeed at New Year's resolutions
by Harriet Frew on January 2nd, 2020

I used to dive headfirst into the deep-end of January resolutions, with enthusiastic zeal!

Following the indulgence, of one too many mince pies and not moving from the comfy sofa, the resolutions held the supreme promise and hope of transformation.

Sugar would be completely banned; a shiny, new gym membership would carve out the dream body, whilst I followed a strict regime detailing calories, steps, measurements and goodness knows what else.

Of course, it always started tremendously well.

On day one, my motivation was sky high and plans were followed to the letter. I was sure that this time, I had finally nailed it. This plan was THE ONE! I had unlocked the magical, secret to change; I’d just never had the right willpower or regime in place before.

Unsurprisingly, the zeal and optimism of day one, or even day seven in January, quickly dissipated, as the month moved on.

January is not a month for extreme, low carb diets or cold chicken salads or early morning gym visits. The dreary, dark days and the persistent cold can quickly sap motivation. Three weeks in, I was feeling ravenously hungry and irritable, like an angry bear deprived of food. I was dreading the early morning alarm clock, signalling my supposed gym visits and the body transformation was no way near fast enough.

By Valentine’s Day, the expectations and aspirations of January 1st had been recklessly abandoned by the wayside; with the need for hot dinners and sustaining comfort food sensibly winning the battle.

This was not accepted on my part, with an understanding self-compassion or wisdom of the non-sustainability of such a punishing regime. Instead, the feeling of doom and failure would set in.

‘I don’t have enough willpower; I never follow through; I’m just not good enough’.

My ‘all or nothing’ thinking would lead me into destructive and negative behaviours.

‘I might as well eat everything in sight; there’s no point doing exercise, if I can’t follow through; I might as well self-sabotage to prove how much of a failure I am’.

Thankfully, with the passage of time, I no longer take the same strategy with resolutions.

But what’s changed?

ONE: – Resolutions are no longer fixed in stone, with their achievement marked out, as the holy grail of self-worth. Instead, there are flexible goals in place and part of my longer term development. They are not unique to January alone, but part of the ongoing practice of gently chipping away at enhancing mental wellbeing, relationships; health and happiness. There is no longer a drastic, overhaul that descends on December 31st.

TWO: – I have learned that effective change comes from consistency and baby steps. And isn’t that so boring and underwhelming to hear? How we long for the magical, overnight fix to make it all better! The lose ten pounds in ten day days or transform your relationship in an hour. So rather than the exhausting workout at 5.30am, it’s about adding in that extra walk, but consistently; and instead of transforming my limited social life to friendship-queen status, it’s about making that call to my friend on a Sunday regularly and nurturing those connections.

THREE: -When you’re making change, it helps to have support around you, to stay motivated and inspired.

If you want to dance, enroll in a class with some buddies. Want to stop overeating? Join an online forum, follow some inspiring accounts on Instagram or get some counselling. Other people can be your cheerleaders and spur you on. It can be incredibly hard in isolation.
As we move into 2020, do take from this post, the tips that work for you.

Choose sustainable, achievable mini goals and work on them consistently. Don’t set yourself up with unrealistic resolutions that will be abandoned, well before January comes to a close.
Remember to be kind and compassionate with yourself in this process, as self-chastisement is not in the least bit effective for motivation.

This post is currently live at SELFISH MOTHER


Posted in Body image, Change, Christmas, Confidence, Motivation and change, New Year, Self-esteem    Tagged with NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS, change, New Year, success, confidence


0 Comments

Leave a Comment


Tags
10 lessons 10 principles of intuitive eating 10 tips 10 ways therapy can help 10 ways 12 days of christmas 20 ways to stop bingeing now 3 steps 5 things to learn 5 tips 5 ways to silence inner critic 5 ways ACEs Bingeing CELEBRITIES AND SELF ESTEEM CELEBRITY BODY IMAGE Childhood adverse experiences Christma Control Covid-19 DEALING WITH PRESSURE ELLEUK ELLE Easter Eating Disorder Eating problem FEELING FAT HAES HOW TO COPE WITH PEOPLE COMMENTING ON YOUR BODY Inside Out Louise Chunn Managing emotions NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS NO DIET New Year Parenting tips Perfectionism RECOVERY FROM EATING DISORDER REJECT DIETS SELFISH MOTHER Sleep Spring Welldoing.org about counsellors action alcohol all or nothing anorexia nervosa anorexia recovery anorexiarecovery anorexia anti dieting anti diet antidiet anxiety eating anxiety appetite assertiveness assertive awareness of thoughts bbc beach body beautiful people behaviours being authentic being kind to self bikini body plan bikini body binge eating disorder binge eating recovery binge eating bingeeating bite by bite black and white thinking body acceptance body confidence body diversity body dysmorphia body image tips body image workbook body image body love body neutrality body positivity book recommendation boost self-esteem boost selfesteem breakthrough buimia bulimia nervosa bulimia recovery bulimiarecovery bulimia cake can counselling help caring what others think cbt challenge thoughts challenging negative thoughts change childhood experiences childhood children and eating disorders children christmas clean eating cognitive behaviour therapy comfort eating comparing self to others comparing with others comparions comparisons complex problems compulsive eating compulsive exercise confidence conflict about body size connection contribution coping corona virus counselling critical voice criticism dads dbt deception developing awareness developing healthy relationship with food diet binge cycle diet culture dieting cycle dieting diet disordered eating ditch the diet does self help work dolphin early experiences eating disorder diagnosis eating disorder prevention eating disorder recovery eating disorder treatment eating disorders eating when hungry eatingdisorder eating ednos elizabeth gilbert embracing change emotional eating emotional intelligence emotional regulation emotions envy evening eating exhaustion expectations expressing emotions fearne cotton feelings florence and the machine florence welch food obsession food freedom with food friendship fulfilment fullness fun geneen roth giveupdieting giving up dieting giving goals guilt habit happiness happy new year harriet frew health at every size healthy eating healthy food healthy weight help for disordered eating helpful help hope how body image develops how counselling can change your life how low self esteem develops how to stop binge eating how to stop bingeing how to stop emotional eating how to stop overeating hunger identity improve body image improving body image inferior insulin intuitive eating iphone is your weight your worth janet treasure jealousy jellyfish joy judgement kids and eating disorders kind to body labeling exercise on foods labelling foods letting go lies limiting beliefs listen to body listen to your body loneliness lose control around food lose weight losing control food love body low self-esteem male body image manipulation maudsley method maudsley model media meeting your needs men and eating disorders mental health tips mental health mind body connection mindful eating mindfulness mindset mirror mood mothering motivational approach motivation mums mum my story negative body image new year diet new year plan new year resolutions ninja warrior no dieting nodiets nodiet not dieting obesity obsession with food obsession on eating orthorexia osfed ostrich over-eating over-exercise overcome binge eating overcome bulimia overcoming eating disorder overcoming fear overeating at Easter overeating overevaluation of shape parenting people pleasing perfect philippa perry pixar film pleasure poor body image positive preoccupation with food pressure problem psychodynamic psychological approach psychology psychotherapy reading about eating disorders reading recovery relapse relationships resolutions restriction binge cycle restriction rest rhino role model root of problem roots of behaviour roots of problem rules about eating rules around eating sabotage satiety saying no secret eating self awareness self conscious self esteem self help books self worth self-acceptance self-awareness self-awarness self-care self-compassion self-confidence self-criticism self-esteem self-help book self-help self-kindness self-loathing self-love self-worth selfcare selfesteem selfworth shoulds social anxiety social eating social media and body image social media song starve stop binge eating stop bingeing stop comparisons stop dieting stopping dieting stress striving success summer support for carers support surviving Christmas susie orbach tablet television therapy thin idealisation things you didn't know thinking about food thinking styles thinking thinner self thin thoughts about food thoughts time tips to boost self-esteem tips to love your body tips tired to my client who is struggling trauma treatment for eating disorder tv and body image ulrike schmidt undereating understanding self unkind to self validating emotions values value vulnerability wants weighing scales weight conflict weight loss weight wellbeing what is counselling what is therapy when food is love when therapy is hard work you can do it
Find peace with food and overcome disordered eating.