Find peace with food and overcome disordered eating.
Eating Disorder Therapist
Overcome disordered eating and find peace with food
7 ways to stop comparing yourself with others
by Harriet Frew on May 11th, 2016

How much do you compare yourself to others? Do you even notice the ‘comparison monster’ on your shoulder, jabbering away all day and chipping away at your self-esteem? If not, it might be valuable to begin to tune in and notice your inner self-talk. Too many comparisons can leave you feeling hopelessly inadequate and insecure. They prevent you from recognising your own unique qualities and strengths. Tuning down the ‘comparisons monster’ will undoubtedly bring positive benefits to your well-being and self-worth.
How to do it?
1. If you look for the evidence you will find it. If you are afraid of spiders, you’ll probably always be spotting them everywhere, compared to somebody who just doesn’t care about creepy crawlies. Then, you’ll feel even more anxious. 

In life, there will always be someone who you perceive as prettier, thinner, more intelligent, richer, fitter or more popular. By comparing yourself, you have already undermined your own worth and planted a seed of self-doubt.
Instead, put the blinkers on. You have some control over your world and what you choose to expose yourself to. You don’t have to scrutinise everyone walking past. You can decide which material you want to read. You can take a breath and start to think about something different when your mind is overwhelmed. It might not be easy at first, but persevere.
2. It is fruitless to judge your inner mind and insecurities to the outer self portrayed by others. Unless you know the person intimately, you don’t have the whole picture and are seeing, just a glimpse. You might well be fantasising about an ideal which doesn’t exist.  You are likely comparing yourself to an impossible and perfect standard. 

3. Keep a healthy perspective. If you work in television or modelling or fitness, your body image will be under greater focus. If you are at a high profile university or work for a leading company, you might well be surrounded by people who are intelligent and well qualified. If you live in an affluent area, people will have bigger houses or nicer cars. When you compare yourself to others within a segment of society, the information is biased. Stand back and see the broader picture. 

4. Comparisons can deprive us of joy and breed resentment and bitterness, robbing precious time from your daily life. Appreciate the impact that comparisons have. You will feel more motivated to work on reducing them. 

5. If you are caught in a comparison rut, have a change of scene. Get out of the house or office and go for a walk (somewhere green if possible). Concentrate on being mindful of your surroundings and appreciating the moment. 

6. If you find yourself comparing, think about why. Are you dissatisfied with something? Do you feel trapped or unfulfilled? Sometimes, comparisons can help inspire us to be better versions of ourselves and to help us recognise our deepest values. They also help us to be thankful for the good things we do have. 

7. When you compare too much, it stops you recognising your own unique gifts and qualities. Learn to appreciate your specialness by regularly acknowledging the little things you do well. No-one is quite the same as you. When you focus on your own joy and the things that are important to you, there is less time and energy for comparisons. 
Keep working on turning down the voice of the ‘comparisons monster’.  As always, be patient and kind with yourself in this process. It takes time to work on your thinking, but it is time well invested to enhance your well-being and self-esteem.

Posted in Body image, Change, Comparing self, Confidence, Happiness, Self-care, Self-esteem, Thoughts, Values    Tagged with comparing self to others, comparisons, envy, jealousy, body image, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-acceptance


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