Find peace with food and overcome disordered eating.
Eating Disorder Therapist
Overcome disordered eating and find peace with food
Looking back, looking forward....
by Harriet Frew on December 17th, 2014

So the end of 2014 is coming closer, a time to reflect and look back on the last twelve months. A time to think about new beginnings and opportunities. And you may have an overall sense of how this last year has gone. Maybe you have encountered changes; maybe experienced losses; maybe ventured into new terrains or maybe none of these.

And how do you feel your relationship with food has changed in 2014? Are you beginning to feel more relaxed and at peace with food and your body? Or maybe you are still feeling a bit stuck and hopeless and nothing seems to have altered. You can't see a light at the end of the tunnel.

When you are struggling with food and your body, whether your be over-weight, under-weight or in-between, it is likely that underneath this lies a fear and anxiety. Fear of not being good enough; fear of failure; fear of being your true self and not being liked or getting approval. An overall fear of life. Placing so much emphasis on being thin or trying to achieve it can be a misplaced attempt to feel better and to boost self-esteem. It can also quite effectively mask the other issues that are going on in relationships, work or family life that may need addressing. It is likely to prevent you from fulfilling your true potential because so much energy and time is directed into thinking about food and your body.

If you are in this place, you are likely to be critical, judgemental and disapproving of yourself. You are likely to have a million 'shoulds' and expectations that you feel you fall grossly short of. This might be fuelling you to already be considering the long list of resolutions for January when you feel that you will finally sort yourself out once and for all. You probably know in your heart that this approach isn't going to work. What will be different this time? You might feel a bit despondent even thinking about it.

This year, I encourage you to try a different method. If you are not where you hoped to be by December 2014, then compassion for yourself and for others is key. So much learning can be gained from when things don't go so well. I know I have learned so much from my own mistakes along the way.

Some questions for reflection
  • What has gone well this year? 
  • What have you achieved, however small? 
  • Which friendships have you strengthened or new ones have you made? 
  • What experiences have you shared and enjoyed? 
  • What has really made you laugh and feel joyful? 
  • And what are you grateful for? 
  • Has your body remained in good health? 
  • Are people close to you fit and well? 
  • Are you financially secure? 
  • Do you have people around you that care about you?
Notice that you have much to be thankful for. 

When you look back noticing the positives, I am sure the last year may have a very different feel.

As you move forward into the New Year treat with yourself with compassion, kindness and self-respect. The more you can be self-caring, this will undoubtedly support you in having a better relationship with food and your body.

Listen to your inner voice.

Be the best version of yourself that no-one else can be. You deserve to do this for yourself. By doing this, you give others around you the permission to be authentic also. And what a wonderful gift that is.

So no more: criticism; judgement; comparisons and beating yourself up. This only leads to self-loathing and feeling inadequate.

Set mini goals - they count for a great deal.

Set sustainable goals.

Celebrate every single little victory.

A final note. Thank you so much for reading my blogs. At the start of this year, I didn't even consider myself to be a writer (and I still have much to learn); but writing for all of you has enabled me to step outside my comfort zone and opened many doors. :)

I wish you a peaceful and relaxing Christmas and look forward to sharing more with you in the New Year.

Warmest wishes


Posted in not categorized    Tagged with no tags


angela - December 18th, 2014 at 2:16 PM
thanks Harriet for all the blogs have read lots of them now and really enjoy reading them and find them useful .Keep them going to keep up your writing skills.
Harriet Frew - January 5th, 2015 at 4:08 AM
Thanks very much for sharing Angela. I appreciate your feedback. Harriet
Leave a Comment

10 lessons 10 principles of intuitive eating 10 tips 10 ways therapy can help 10 ways 12 days of christmas 20 ways to stop bingeing now 3 steps 5 things to learn 5 tips 5 ways to silence inner critic 5 ways ACEs Bingeing CELEBRITIES AND SELF ESTEEM CELEBRITY BODY IMAGE Childhood adverse experiences Christma Control Covid-19 DEALING WITH PRESSURE ELLEUK ELLE Easter Eating Disorder Eating problem FEELING FAT HAES HOW TO COPE WITH PEOPLE COMMENTING ON YOUR BODY Inside Out Louise Chunn Managing emotions Minnesota starvation study NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS NO DIET New Year Parenting tips Perfect body Perfectionism RECOVERY FROM EATING DISORDER REJECT DIETS SELFISH MOTHER Sleep Spring about counsellors action alcohol all or nothing anorexia nervosa anorexia recovery anorexiarecovery anorexia anti dieting anti diet antidiet anxiety eating anxiety appetite assertiveness assertive awareness of thoughts bbc beach body beautiful people behaviours being authentic being kind to self bikini body plan bikini body bikini competitor binge eating disorder binge eating recovery binge eating bingeeating bite by bite black and white thinking body acceptance body builder body building body confidence body diversity body dysmorphia body ideal body image tips body image workbook body image body love body neutrality body positivity book recommendation boost self-esteem boost self-worth boost selfesteem breakthrough buimia bulimia nervosa bulimia recovery bulimiarecovery bulimia cake can counselling help caring what others think cbt challenge thoughts challenging negative thoughts change is possible change childhood experiences childhood children and eating disorders children chocolate christmas clean eating cognitive behaviour therapy comfort eating comparing self to others comparing with others comparions comparisons compassion focused therapy compassion complex problems compulsive eating compulsive exercise confidence conflict about body size connection contribution coping corona virus corona counselling critical voice criticism dads dbt dealing with emotions deception developing awareness developing healthy relationship with food diet binge cycle diet culture dieting cycle dieting diet disordered eating recovery disordered eating disorderedeating ditch the diet does self help work dolphin early experiences eating disorder diagnosis eating disorder prevention eating disorder recovery eating disorder treatment eating disorders eating when hungry eatingdisorder eating ednos elizabeth gilbert embracing change emotional eating emotional intelligence emotional regulation emotional trigger emotions envy evening eating exercise addiction exhaustion expectations expressing emotions fearne cotton feelings fitness fitspiration fitspo florence and the machine florence welch food obsession food freedom with food friendship fulfilment fullness fun geneen roth giveupdieting giving up dieting giving goals guilt habit happiness happy new year harriet frew health at every size healthy eating healthy food healthy weight help for disordered eating helpful help history of body image hope how body image develops how counselling can change your life how low self esteem develops how to stop binge eating how to stop bingeing how to stop emotional eating how to stop overeating hunger identity improve body image improving body image inferior insulin intuitive eating iphone is your weight your worth janet treasure jealousy jellyfish joy judgement kids and eating disorders kind to body labeling exercise on foods labelling foods letting go lies limiting beliefs listen to body listen to your body lockdown loneliness lose control around food lose weight losing control food love body low self-esteem macros male body image manipulation maudsley method maudsley model media meeting your needs men and eating disorders mental health tips mental health mind body connection mindful eating mindfulness mindset mirror mood mothering motivational approach motivation mums mum my story negative body image new year diet new year plan new year resolutions ninja warrior no dieting nodiets nodiet not dieting obesity obsession with food obsessionwitth food obsession on eating orthorexia nervosa orthorexia osfed ostrich over-eating over-exercise overcome binge eating overcome bulimia overcoming eating disorder overcoming fear overeating at Easter overeating overevaluation of shape overexercise parenting people pleasing perfect philippa perry photo shop pixar film pleasure poor body image positive preoccupation with food pressure problem psychodynamic psychological approach psychology psychotherapy reading about eating disorders reading recovery journey recovery relapse relationships resolutions restriction binge cycle restriction rest rhino role model root of problem roots of behaviour roots of problem rules about eating rules around eating sabotage satiety saying no secret eating self awareness self conscious self esteem self help books self worth self-acceptance self-awareness self-awarness self-care self-compassion self-confidence self-criticism self-esteem self-help book self-help self-kindness self-loathing self-love self-worth selfcare selfesteem selfworth shoulds social anxiety social eating social media and body image social media song starvation starve stop binge eating stop bingeing stop comparisons stop dieting stopping dieting stress striving strongisnewskinny success summer support for carers support surviving Christmas susie orbach tablet television therapy thin idealisation things you didn't know thinking about food thinking styles thinking thinner self thin thoughts about food thoughts time tips to boost self-esteem tips to love your body tips tired to my client who is struggling trauma treatment for eating disorder tv and body image ulrike schmidt undereating understanding self understanding your past unkind to self validating emotions values value victoria stockwell vulnerability wants weighing scales weight conflict weight loss weight wellbeing what is counselling what is therapy when food is love when therapy is hard work you can do it
Find peace with food and overcome disordered eating.