Find peace with food and overcome disordered eating.
Eating Disorder Therapist
Overcome disordered eating and find peace with food
Embracing the shades of grey
by Harriet Frew on September 15th, 2014

Do you ever feel that your relationship with food is doomed to failure? How can you truly break old habits and move to a relaxed and enjoyable place where you can eat out effortlessly and feel proud and comfortable of your body? Maybe you feel that you can skip along quite happily for a few weeks and then suddenly, wham, bam, you are back to flicking furiously through diet magazines for the latest craze; weighing yourself obsessively twice a day and piling on the body self-loathing with intensity. Why? Why? You really thought that this time you had it sussed.

Here are 7 Myths about change that we sell ourselves and how to combat them

1.You are back to square one when things are not going well.

Wrong! Change is a process and it is extremely unusual (particularly where food is concerned) that you can alter long-term patterns overnight. You are very likely to slip back again and again before the new ways of being have become embedded and formed as sustainable habits. When things go wrong, view see this as a blip, not a catastrophe. Look at what happened; learn quickly from the experience and move on!
2.Someone else can make the changes for you.

Alas if only this was true! I think we are all looking for rescue at different points in our lives. If only we could find that perfect book, therapist, life-coach, significant other - someone to come along and make it all better. Oh to be airlifted out of the jungle to safety! Unfortunately, no-one else can do it for you, but you can embrace support and help others direct you along the way. Someone that has walked the path before can provide wisdom and valuable insights. They can be your guide rather than your rescuer.

3. “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” Henry Ford

Going on another diet; being too restrictive; eliminating food groups; obsessive weighing; body checking……..if you keep doing these things, it is unlikely that change will happen. Yes, they are safe, familiar and do bring short-term results. Do you really want to be on this hamster wheel forever though?

4. Don’t wait until the day you feel like changing. Just go and do it.

Oh how true this is. Keep going even when you don’t feel like it and you will get there.

5. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – Lao-tzu

When I look back over the years, the change in my relationship with food has been a slow but persistent journey. Fifteen years ago, I stopped being bulimic; about 10 years ago, I stopped bingeing completely. In the last few years, I have moved to a place where food is a real pleasure; something I enjoy; something that doesn’t occupy much headspace. It has taken time.

6. If you are not eating enough for your body, you will find yourself constantly thinking about food. 

People often ask me to ‘take away all this thinking about food’ when actually they are not prepared to give up dieting or restricting food.
When you don’t eat enough for your body, you are over-riding a physiological process – you really cannot win.

7. Embrace the shades of grey

In the past, you might have felt that you were either ‘being good’ or controlling your eating and doing well. Or you might have felt that you were out of control; in chaos and on a self-destructive path. The way out of this, is finding a comfortable and sustainable middle ground. Rules need relaxing. Flexibility has to be embraced. Compassion and kindness to the self are crucial. Grey will feel an uncomfortable place after the extremes of the black and white rule-bound rollercoaster, but it is your way out.
How do you stay motivated? Do you have something to share? Post below and share your thoughts.
If you would like to get in touch about working with me to explore some of these issues further, I would love to hear from you. I am passionate about helping you to eat all the foods you love; and feel great about your body without disordered eating or dieting.


Posted in Being mindful, Giving up dieting, Motivation and change, Thoughts    Tagged with no tags


angela - September 24th, 2014 at 3:55 AM
I think that your thought so true here, used to get caught up with very black and white thinking but am beginning to change my perspective.
So easy to get influenced by others or that feeling if you have eaten slightly too much then it all goes backwards again.
Good support critical and being kind to yourself essential.
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Find peace with food and overcome disordered eating.