Inspiring you to find peace with food and your body image
Inspiring you to find peace with food and your body image
Do you stuff or starve your anger?
by Harriet Frew on May 20th, 2014

Holly is angry but she can’t admit it right now.  She knows that she feels overwhelmed with work; irritated with her partner and every sound, interruption or task brings about tension in her body. Everyone is wanting more, more, more and she doesn’t know which way to turn.
Holly feels bad about herself for feeling like this. Her life is pretty good overall; why should she feel grumpy and negative? Other people are worse off. As she reflects on this, Holly then feels guilty and wrong for having these feelings. She pushes them away. She puts on brave face. Everything is ‘fine’.
  • Do you relate to this?
  • Are you in touch with how you feel?
  • Do you cut off from your emotions and bury your head in the sand?
  • Do you vent your anger, sadness and upset openly to yourself and others?
  • Do you feel comfortable expressing your anger?
  • Do you feel guilty when you are not happy, positive and calm? 

It is very common when an eating problem is lurking that you have a mistrust of listening to your innermost feelings. You might have even become scared of the perceived deep monster lurking within. You can’t admit to your true feelings because you feel guilty. This is then suppressed; put away and then often depression can creep in.
Low mood; feeling down; feeling depressed is often linked to losing touch with our authentic selves. We have become full of SHOULDS. How should we look; think; behave; talk etc. This brings about inner confusion and often dissatisfaction, feelings of unease and discomfort. We feel a chasm developing between ourselves and others. We know we are putting on a front but feel that others would not like the ‘real me’. This brings about shame and self-loathing.
These feelings are hard to tolerate. Over-eating or starving (in the short-term) provide very effective strategies for blocking out feelings and allowing some dissociation and distraction from the moment. If you are then feeling bad for feeling your anger, negativity or upset, then self-punishment through further over-eating or starving can follow on.  It creates a cycle of self-loathing.
Working with feelings
Your emotional world can bring valuable knowledge, insights and intuition to your daily life. Often we have a ‘gut feel’ about certain decisions which can help inform our choices.
You don’t have to be ruled by your emotions. People fear that expressing their innermost thoughts is going to open a floodgate that is unmanageable. In reality if you vent your emotions regularly – with trusted friends; in a diary; - they become tamed and manageable. Just because you feel something on a particular day, this doesn’t mean that this is how you will feel every day. Don’t judge the feeling. Be compassionate. Just getting the feeling out can be soothing in itself and helps you move on and cope better.
If you recognise yourself here, then make an effort today to tune in and listen to your thoughts and feelings. Don’t censor them; no-one else has to know. Begin to trust your inner world to guide you in knowing what is best for you. Being in touch with your authentic self is a wonderful and empowering place to be. Just being completely YOU!
What do you think?  Have you a story to tell about your own journey? Be brave, go over to my blog page at and please share.
If you would like to get in touch about working with me to explore some of these issues further, I would love to hear from you. I am passionate about helping you to eat all the foods you love; and feel great about your body without disordered eating or dieting.
Best wishes
P.S Do go and visit my Rethink your Body facebook page. - I am sharing news, updates and interesting articles.

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Inspiring you to find peace with food and your body image