Find peace with food and overcome disordered eating.
Eating Disorder Therapist
Overcome disordered eating and find peace with food
What other people think about your body
by Harriet Frew on April 25th, 2014

I have had some embarrassing moment in my lifetime, as we all have.  I’m not sure if the time my stiletto heel got lodged in the escalator at Kings Cross at rush hour trumps my list. Or falling over when getting up on stage to do a talk in front of an audience I hoped to impress. The cringe feelings have still not left me completely. Shame, embarrassment, humiliation to name a few!
But what I did learn from these experiences was that my own emotional reaction to the event was 100x stronger than anyone else’s. Other people really didn’t care that much, if at all. At the station, most people continued with their day, their conversations, their journeys and I was quite invisible.  To them it was a blip of an event that was over and done with quickly; I doubt it really registered much in their thoughts ever again. Whereas for me, it was significant. I wanted the world to swallow me up. I kept replaying the event in my mind.
Often in life we can all value the opinion of other too highly and this is often particularly evident around weight and body image issues.  When you are at a weight or size that you are unhappy with, I wonder how much you limit your life because of what others might think about you.
With my clients, I often ask the question, ‘what makes someone attractive’?
The common responses include: - confidence; dress-sense; at ease with self; nice smile.
It is very rare that stomach size; thigh gap; body shape and leg length come into the response.
Isn’t that interesting? Because we can all invest so much in getting the right body as the solution to looking better.
So what are you putting off until you achieve your weight and body goals because of what ‘they’ might think?
Here are 4 tips for caring less about the opinions of others
  1. Remember, the majority of people do not care about your body size or what you are doing with your life very much at all. Bummer! 
  2. If they do care a lot and are saying negative things about your body, then this is usually about THEM. I can almost guarantee you that the person spouting criticisms will have their own body image, food or self-esteem issues. 
  3. Who you are giving your power to? It is common that people get hung up on unhelpful comments said to them in the past (often by some bully at school or a random builder shouting from a site; not exactly an opinion that is worth keeping!) 
  4. Most of the time, if someone does notice something about your body, they are having different thoughts to you and guess what; they are often very constructive, supportive and positive in comparison to your own thoughts. Revelation! 

So, if you are putting your life on hold and staying indoors until you reach that perfect weight or fit into your jeans, then you are wasting your time. People really do not care.
Invest your energy in pursuits, friendships, endeavours that enhance and enrich your life. Through this you will gain confidence and self-assurance which will make you infinitely more attractive to others.
What do you think? Do you relate to this?  Have you a story to tell about shaking off others’ opinions about body shape? Be brave and post below.
If you would like to get in touch about working with me to explore some of these issues further, I would love to hear from you. I am passionate about helping you to eat all the foods you love; and feel great about your body without disordered eating or dieting.

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Find peace with food and overcome disordered eating.