Find peace with food and overcome disordered eating.
Eating Disorder Therapist
Overcome disordered eating and find peace with food
Is feeling fat holding you back?
by Harriet Frew on March 17th, 2014

Fantastic article in Grazia this week where Anna Hart talks about the occasions she has missed due to feeling fat and bad about her appearance.  Anna is a successful, beautiful journalist who actually ticks every box we value in our culture to determine achievement and accomplishment. Anna is acutely aware of how she does not want to be thinking negative thoughts about her appearance but is frustrated that she cannot stop this.
Perfect body = happiness?
But what’s going on here though? If perfect body = perfectly happy person then maybe we’d be on to something. If I had a magic wand and could zap you to your perceived ‘perfect body’ by lunchtime today, would you really be happy? You might think YES of course; get me that wand right now. Life would be a breeze. Problems would be solved. I would instantly become that positive, happy, interesting person that has always been waiting to emerge.
I know many people that have dieted down to a smaller size; they get there and they still feel the same. They still feel fat; they still uncomfortable with their body. They don’t feel at ease.
How you think is key
This secret here though is about our MINDSET and how we think about our bodies. This is so central to how we feel and then how we present ourselves to the world.  With 60,000 thoughts plus day, if you are spending a lot of time thinking things like ‘my thighs are too big’ ‘I am fat’ etc and then you are doing things like looking in the mirror numerous times and staring at your ‘imperfections’ rather than noticing your beautiful eyes or glossy hair, then no wonder you are not going to be feeling great.  If you are looking at Miss Skinny’s legs across the way and obsessing on them rather than taking a realistic look round at the range of bodies you are coming into contact with, then no wonder you are getting a skewed perspective. We all do it! It does us no favours.
So what to do about it? You might be thinking, well that’s all very well Harriet Frew, but I don’t FEEL like that is true or that I can do this. Well here’s another thing, to begin to make the shift in your mindset you need to start doing this regardless of how you feel. If you wait until you feel like doing it, the day might never come.
I am sure you persist in other areas of your life when you want a different outcome. Things often feel so unnatural to start with, but this doesn’t stop you persevering and pushing through, does it? Eg: learning to drive; mastering a skill. You push through because you really want the end goal.
So go out there today and start to notice how your thoughts are affecting how you feel about your body. Start to be kinder and more supportive of your body.
Good luck. Do let me know how you get on. If you would like to get in touch about working with me to explore some of these issues further, I would love to hear from you. I am passionate about helping you to eat all the foods you love; and feel great about your body without disordered eating or dieting.

Posted in Body image, Motivation and change, Feeling fat    Tagged with no tags


Leave a Comment

10 lessons 10 principles of intuitive eating 10 tips 10 ways therapy can help 10 ways 12 days of christmas 20 ways to stop bingeing now 3 steps 5 things to learn 5 tips 5 ways to silence inner critic 5 ways ACEs Bingeing Blog CELEBRITIES AND SELF ESTEEM CELEBRITY BODY IMAGE Childhood adverse experiences Christma Control Covid-19 DEALING WITH PRESSURE ELLEUK ELLE Easter Eating Disorder Eating problem FEELING FAT HAES HOW TO COPE WITH PEOPLE COMMENTING ON YOUR BODY Inside Out Louise Chunn Managing emotions Minnesota starvation study NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS NO DIET New Year Parenting tips Perfect body Perfectionism RECOVERY FROM EATING DISORDER REJECT DIETS SELFISH MOTHER Sleep Spring about counsellors action alcohol all or nothing anorexia nervosa anorexia recovery anorexiarecovery anorexia anti dieting anti diet antidiet anxiety eating anxiety appetite assertiveness assertive awareness of thoughts bbc beach body beautiful people behaviours being authentic being kind to self bikini body plan bikini body bikini competitor binge eating disorder binge eating recovery binge eating bingeeatingdisorder bingeeating bite by bite black and white thinking body acceptance body builder body building body checking body confidence body diversity body dysmorphia body ideal body image tips body image workbook body image body love body neutrality body neutral body positivity book recommendation boost self-esteem boost self-worth boost selfesteem breakthrough buimia bulimia nervosa bulimia recovery bulimiarecovery bulimia buying jeans cake can counselling help caring what others think cbt challenge thoughts challenging negative thoughts change is possible change childhood experiences childhood children and eating disorders children chocolate christmas clean eating cognitive behaviour therapy comfort eating comparing self to others comparing with others comparions comparisons compassion focused therapy compassion complex problems compulsive eating compulsive exercise confidence conflict about body size connection contribution coping corona virus corona counselling directory counselling critical voice criticism dads dbt dealing with emotions deception developing awareness developing healthy relationship with food diet binge cycle diet culture dieting cycle dieting diet disordered eating recovery disordered eating disorderedeating ditch the diet does self help work dolphin don't compare early experiences eating disorder diagnosis eating disorder prevention eating disorder recovery eating disorder treatment eating disorders eating when hungry eatingdisorder eating ednos elizabeth gilbert embracing change emotional eating emotional intelligence emotional regulation emotional trigger emotions envy evening eating exercise addiction exhaustion expectations expressing emotions fearne cotton feelings fitness fitspiration fitspo florence and the machine florence welch food obsession food freddie flintoff freedom with food friendship fulfilment fullness fun geneen roth giveupdieting giving up dieting giving goals guilt habit happiness happy new year harriet frew health at every size healthy eating healthy food healthy weight help for disordered eating helpful help history of body image hope how body image develops how counselling can change your life how low self esteem develops how to stop binge eating how to stop bingeing how to stop emotional eating how to stop overeating hunger identity improve body image improving body image inferior insulin intuitive eating iphone is your weight your worth janet treasure jealousy jellyfish joy judgement kids and eating disorders kind to body labeling exercise on foods labelling foods letting go lies limiting beliefs listen to body listen to your body lockdown loneliness lose control around food lose weight losing control food love body love your body low self-esteem macros male body builder male body image manipulation maudsley method maudsley model media meeting your needs men and eating disorders mental health tips mental health men mind body connection mindful eating mindfulness mindset mirror mood mothering motivational approach motivation mums mum muscle dysmorphia my story negative body image new year diet new year plan new year resolutions ninja warrior no dieting nodiets nodiet nofoodguilt not dieting obesity obsession with food obsessionwitth food obsession on eating orthorexia nervosa orthorexia osfed ostrich over-eating over-exercise overcome binge eating overcome bulimia overcoming eating disorder overcoming fear overeating at Easter overeating overevaluation of shape overexercise parenting people pleasing perfect philippa perry photo shop pixar film pleasure poor body image positive preoccupation with food pressure problem psychodynamic psychological approach psychology of eating disorder psychology psychotherapy reading about eating disorders reading recovery journey recovery relapse relationships resolutions restriction binge cycle restriction rest rhino role model root of problem roots of behaviour roots of problem rules about eating rules around eating sabotage satiety saying no secret eating self awareness self conscious self esteem self help books self worth self-acceptance self-awareness self-awarness self-care self-compassion self-confidence self-criticism self-esteem self-help book self-help self-kindness self-loathing self-love self-worth selfcare selfesteem selfworth shoulds social anxiety social eating social media and body image social media song starvation starve stop binge eating stop bingeing stop comparisons stop dieting stopping dieting stress striving strongisnewskinny success summer support for carers support surviving Christmas susie orbach tablet television therapy thin idealisation things you didn't know thinking about food thinking styles thinking thinner self thin thoughts about food thoughts time tips to boost self-esteem tips to love your body tips tired to my client who is struggling trauma treatment for eating disorder tv and body image ulrike schmidt undereating understanding self understanding your past unkind to self validating emotions values value victoria stockwell vulnerability wants weighing scales weight conflict weight loss weight wellbeing what is counselling what is therapy when food is love when therapy is hard work you can do it
Find peace with food and overcome disordered eating.