No more diets and deprivation. Eat the foods you love and have a great body image.
Rethink your body
To get the freedom to live the life you want
Uncontrollable life!
Posted on January 12th, 2014

How I wish that life could be more controllable and predictable. When our washing machine broke earlier this week, I noticed the immediate pang of anxiety thinking about the mountains of dirty clothes that were going to build up with a family of 5.  I catastrophised the event and this brought on anxiety and fear (I feel ridiculous writing this now!).
Life throws daily challenges, and for many of us, food is the coping strategy.
For some people, strong anxiety brings on the need to restrict and control food more. ‘Even if life is out of control, well at least I am controlling my weight’.
I know, restricting can feel quite good short-term. You can feel quite ‘buzzy’ with adrenaline; feel a sense of accomplishment and raised self-esteem. BUT as we all know, at some point, hunger kicks in. What happens next depends on your eating style.
The ‘I never get hungry approach’
Ignore the hunger all together. Actually pretend it’s not there. ‘I never feel hungry’. Just get busier, do more, run around, desperately prove that you have it all together.  Again, it may work for a bit, but then you are likely to start feeling cold, tired, irritable, exhausted, detached from people etc....not a happy place.
‘Blow the diet approach’
You might think ‘blow the diet and LIFE; I deserve a treat, I am going to eat’. Because you are hungry, anxious and maybe even a bit annoyed you might eat considerably more than you would normally, possible even a binge. You are likely to then feel bad, guilty, ashamed, etc. Miserable place.
Here are some strategies that have helped me to cope differently

Acknowledge that the above strategies are not working. Please correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t the end point in all of this about having a great and vibrant life with friends, family, fulfilling job, hobbies etc. It is not about being stuck at home either obsessing about food, exercise or weight and being a bit thinner. 

Next time you recognise you are feeling anxious in response to something, firstly take a deep breath.  Stop and stand back. You now have a CHOICE with how you deal with this. 

1. You can use the old strategy and you can restrict your food or over-eat.

2. You could distract yourself eg: phone a friend; read a magazine; go for walk. 

3. You could problem solve the issue. Brainstorm 5 possible solutions – it immediately puts you back in the driving seat of life. You will be amazed of your inner resources – I promise!

4. You could write something down about how you are feeling, to try and process it. This might not solve the problem straight away but it gives you breathing space, options and clarity.

5. Finally, be aware that you are possibly making a catastrophe of the issue. Yes, I did survive without my washing machine for a few days and all is well! 

Doesn’t it feel great to have some choices? And initially you might still want to use food, but at least you are consciously doing this now.
Have a go. All the best. If you feel inspired, let me know how you are getting on.

Posted in Emotions    Tagged with no tags


Leave a Comment

10 lessons 10 tips 10 ways therapy can help 10 ways 12 days of christmas 20 ways to stop bingeing now 3 steps 5 things to learn 5 ways to silence inner critic 5 ways Bingeing Control ELLEUK ELLE Eating Disorder Eating problem Inside Out Louise Chunn Managing emotions New Year Perfectionism Sleep action all or nothing anorexia nervosa anorexia anxiety eating anxiety assertiveness assertive beach body beautiful people behaviours being authentic bikini body plan bikini body binge eating disorder binge eating bingeeating bite by bite body dysmorphia body image workbook body image buimia bulimia nervosa bulimia cake caring what others think cbt challenging negative thoughts change children christmas clean eating cognitive behaviour therapy comfort eating comparing self to others comparions comparisons compulsive eating compulsive exercise confidence conflict about body size connection contribution counselling criticism deception developing awareness developing healthy relationship with food dieting disordered eating early experiences eating disorders eating when hungry eatingdisorder eating embracing change emotional eating emotions envy evening eating exhaustion expectations feelings food obsession food freedom with food friendship fulfilment fun geneen roth giving up dieting giving guilt habit happiness healthy eating healthy food healthy weight helpful help how counselling can change your life hunger identity inferior insulin iphone janet treasure jealousy joy judgement kind to body letting go lies listen to body loneliness lose weight losing control food love body male body image media meeting your needs men and eating disorders mental health mind body connection mindful eating mindfulness mirror motivation ninja warrior not dieting obesity obsession with food obsession on eating orthorexia over-eating over-exercise overcoming fear overeating parenting people pleasing pixar film pleasure positive problem reading about eating disorders reading recovery relapse relationships resolutions restriction rest role model root of problem rules about eating rules around eating sabotage saying no secret eating self awareness self conscious self esteem self-acceptance self-awareness self-awarness self-care self-compassion self-confidence self-criticism self-esteem self-help book self-help self-kindness self-love self-worth selfcare shoulds social anxiety social eating social media stop bingeing stop dieting stress success summer support susie orbach tablet television therapy thinking about food thinking styles thinking thinner self thin thoughts about food thoughts tired to my client who is struggling ulrike schmidt undereating unkind to self values value weight conflict weight loss weight wellbeing when food is love when therapy is hard work
No more diets and deprivation. Enjoy food whilst looking good and feeling great about your body shape.